50 Silly Dog Quotes & Sayings

Funny Dog: Quotes & Sayings

Dogs, just like cats, are comedians. They are awkward messy, playful furballs who doesn’t fail to give us happiness.

So, with that, here’s a compilation of hilarious funny dog quotes to make you smile.

“I don’t who care who dies in the movie, as long as the dog lives.”

“Dogs over dudes.”

“Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.” Steve Bluestone

“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job!” George Carlin

“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like, never washed a dog.” — Franklin P. Jones

“Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” — Anne Tyler

“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.” — Phil Pastoret

“I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!” — Jonah Goldberg

“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.” — Sue Murphy

“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost.” — Charlotte Gray

“A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” — Helen Thomson

“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.” — John Grogan

“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” — Rita Rudner

“My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!” — Greg Curtis

“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.” —John Steinbeck

“A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.” — Robert Benchley

“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” — Rodney Dangerfield

“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.” — Fran Lebowitz

“If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?”

“The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

“If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over.”

“If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.”

“A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.”

“You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.”

“I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.”

“The best therapist has fur and four legs.”

“Without my dog my wallet would be full my house would be clean but my heart would be empty.”

“I work hard so my dog can have a better life.”

“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.”

“If you want the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog.”

“Dogs are my favorite people.”

“If our dog doesn’t like you, we probably won’t either.”

“Choosing a dog may be the only chance you get to pick a relative.”

“It’s OK if you don’t like my dog, not everyone has good taste.”

“When I die my dog gets everything.”

“The more people I meet, the more I love my dog.”

“Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.” —John Peer

“The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” —Samuel Butler

“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.”—Ambrose Bierce

“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” —Dave Barry

“My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.” —Elayne Boosler

“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.” —Orlando Aloysius Battista

“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” —Max Eastman

“I am one dog short of crazy.”

“Beware! Dog can’t hold its licker.”

“Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.”

“Life without a dog is like an unsharpened pencil. It has no point.”

“Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take…I’ll be watching you.”

“No home decor is complete without dog hair.”

“Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.”